"I have deleted some of the jpg files of Ryan, which i thought is so personal to him (though everything, include memories made by him or by his days, belongs to him). And i kept some, as a memory to remember him; as a reminder that inspired me at some point of my life.

It was not him, but me and my choices to know him by the nicest possible way, and of course, they were hidden. They were quiet.
God knows the best, but, i had known him. I had seen him as he is, as he was. Once, he was nobody. Then he became the unknown. Then, my favorite writer. Then, one of the favorite human beings. He inspired me. He taught me to think weightless. Showed me the way to write what exactly my raw heart says. He became the book which grabbed me to read it, to learn from it, to know it; and i was confused in between my imagination or the reality. I was thinking. And walking thru this thought-searching road, i felt i am seeing me in him. So i was happy and i fell, for him. I tried few times to just tell him about my feelings for him. I told, but in a wrong time, in a wrong situation.
Whatever it was, now i think, that wrong situation led me into a beautiful ethereal journey- to see love; to seek love from another perspective. To feel the core feelings in a quiet-different-happy way. And i am thankful. I am thankful to him. I am thankful to God for what just happened in this very little lost-in-deep chapter of my life. I am quiet thankful..

He is always in me. Or may be, he was that part of me who got out for a while....''


১৩ই মে, সকাল ৮ টা ২৭: নিধি মাঝে মাঝে তার মনের ভেতর এলোমেলো থাকা ভাবনাগুলোকে গোছাতে শুরু করে। গোছাতে গিয়ে হঠাৎ হঠাৎ হাতে এসে পড়ে স্মৃতি। অসম্ভব সুন্দর কিছু স্মৃতি।